


A Stay At the Not-Emiya Household

by NotTheOtherGuy



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night - All Media Types
Genre: An Ass-Kicking Christmas, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Christmas, Comedy, F/F, F/M, False Identity, Family Fluff, Family Reunions, Gen, Home for Christmas, Other, Romantic Fluff, Scars, Secret Angst, fighting with the family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28944897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotTheOtherGuy/pseuds/NotTheOtherGuy
Summary: In which the Master of Chaldea visits home with Mash for Christmas...with a few servants in tow. And when your parents are Shirou Emiya and Rin Tohsaka, currently at the top of the Mage's Tower most wanted, AND there's extended family visiting in a few days? AND both sides have to keep their respective secrets from said family?Chaos. It's all going to be Chaos.
Relationships: Emiya Shirou/Tohsaka Rin, Fujimaru Ritsuka/Mash Kyrielight | Shielder
Comments: 7
Kudos: 46





	A Stay At the Not-Emiya Household

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously, making use of my Mastersona. That's the reason why the design and the name is different!

_December 20 th, Morning._

The streets of Fuyuki were snow-lined and surprisingly quiet as the rental van rounded corner after corner, slowing down to a crawl as it happened upon the residence. The house stood out, being oddly western-styled among the rest out the houses, standing out even more against the forested backdrop, each tree topped with snow.

“Huh. I guess mom and dad did some renovating since I was home last.”

The voice of the Master of Chaldea spoke first, dipping her head out of the window and squinting up at the mansion. Her white hair threatened to blend in with the light dusting of snow that the city had received within the past day or so…but then again, it was much less of a problem than if she’d taken a walk outside of either Chaldea facility. After pulling over and double checking she wasn’t near a hydrant, Yori finally parked the van and killed the engine.

“What do you mean, Senpai?” Mash wasn’t able to stop her master from immediately hopping out of the van and stretching, so the Demi-Servant was forced to follow suit, the cold immediately fogging up her glasses as she walked around the van and stood beside her girlfriend, snuggling up beside her.

“Well I think that they added a third floor, or at the very least a couple extra rooms. That, or it’s just bigger than I remember.” Yori added as she squinted up at her home, praying that the sun would be covered up by a convenient cloud sooner or later.

“Oi, Oi. I didn’t know you came from such lush roots, Master.” Cú Chulainn emerged from the van at the same time as a pair of servants departed from the other side, heading toward the rear to get the luggage from the trunk. Despite stressing that they had to “blend” and look normal among the mortal world, the Caster had insisted upon wearing his normal outfit, with the only editing to his saint graph being changing his bottom half into a pair of sweatpants. No shoes, barely wearing a shirt, and still rocking the fur-lined hood with the half-cape. He gave Yori a knowing look and a teasing nudge, Yori’s cheeks going scarlet.

“Leave her alone, Cu!” In a teasing manner akin to the Caster, Boudica called out Cu with a smile on her face, lugging a pair of suitcases under each arm, and shoving an extremely heavy hockey bag into Cu’s arms. Said bag nearly brought Cu to his knees from the sheer weight of it and required him to make use of his staff just to lift it. Unlike Cu, Boudica had elected to change her saint graph, changing into a loose turtleneck, some jeans, knee-high boots, and white and red jacket to top off the outfit. But like the Caster, her scarlet locks were let loose and blowing free.

“ _I’m built for spells, not strength…_ ” He muttered the first part under his breath before the blue-haired man looked to the final servant in the small squadron, fired up and suddenly grouchy.

“Oi, oi! Doctor Lady, we’re only here for two weeks! How much medical equipment do you need!?”

For his trouble, the Sage of the Forest got a _very_ sharp umbrella tip pointed at his neck and was treated to the sound of a pistol being cocked. Donned in a red and white outfit befitting of the season, Florence Nightingale was unchanged from her normal self, simply wielding the weapons of a holiday Archer in conjunction with her usual arsenal, which usually included a bed.

Then again, everything seemed to fit in the ornate, ancient bag at her side.

“I do not believe I need explain to you our mission here, Caster. I have prepared for any eventuality that may come upon our Master, or her family.”

“ _Maybe any eventuality from 19 th century.”_ Yori whispered Into Mash’s ear, getting an elbow in the ribs for her trouble.

“ _Be nice, Senpai. Her volunteering in the only reason we’re here!_ ” Mash hissed under her breath, but smiling, nonetheless.

“Let up, Nightingale. No need to blow his head off." Yori finally stepped up, putting a hand on Nightingale’s shoulder, and giving her a gentle push backwards. Her servant relented with a sigh and straightened her coat after making the umbrella vanish.

“In the spirit of the season, I will. And hopefully your parents will have the house sanitized in standards, yes? Otherwise I might be forced to lecture them.”

Yori laughed and gave a gentle pat on the shoulder.

“That, my dear doctor, is _not_ something you have to worry about doing.”

Suddenly, another voice spoke up, followed up the sound of the trunk finally closing.

“Nah, Cu’s right. I don’t think anyone expected you to come from such a bougie background, Masta!”

Without even looking or thinking, Yori recognized the servant and responded in kind.

“Chloe, who taught you to use _bougie_?”

“Astolfo.”

“…Yeah, he would know how that word.” Yori admitted, still not looking at the second Archer servant.

…

…

…

“Wait…CHLOE!?” Suddenly Yori, Mash, and Boudica whirled around to look onto the roof of the rental, where the child servant was sitting. She was thankfully more clothed than usual, pairing denim overalls with a long sleeved red and black shirt and a puffy coat over that. Also, for some reason, glasses. Glasses she definitely didn’t need and looked like they were stolen from Medusa.

“Chloe, what are you doing here!? I thought you were going to spend Christmas with your not-family and Miyu!” Mash exclaimed while Yori tried to recover from the shock and surprise.

“I was _gonna_ , but then I overheard about this excursion to the master’s home, and I just HAD to come along! After all, if Yori’s such a cool badass, her parents must be _stellar_ , right?”

Yori began to rub her temples as she processed Chloe’s presence, taking a big sigh in and out before pausing and furrowing her brow.

“Wait…we’ve been travelling for the better part of _three days_. One of which was spent on a train. Are you telling me you’ve stowed away for three days straight, Chloe?”

Chloe shrugged, getting a smug look on her face.

“It was _really_ easy, Master. Any time someone got near a bag, I’d just change into my spirit form, and nobody was _ever_ the wiser.” Yori opened her mouth to reply again, only to stop herself and furrow her brow. That’s _right_. And she _four_ other servants who didn’t sense that Chloe had tagged along!

Mash was exempt from the rule, but suddenly Cu, Nightingale, and Boudica wouldn’t meet her gaze for some reason.

Yori sighed again and offered a hand upwards.

“Fine, you’re here now, you’ll be part of the “security detail” I’ve been assigned. But _please_ , Chloe. Be on your best behaviour? I have a feeling that this is already going to be chaotic, and I don’t need your particular brand of shenanigans.”

Chloe did a high society, “ohohoho” type of laugh before taking Yori’s hand and hopping down onto the ground.

“I have _no_ idea what you’re talking about, Yori. I’ll certainly behave in a manner befitting the Einzbern family!” She declared, only for Yori to lean down and give her an intense look, poking her cheek a few times.

“You’ll behave in a manner that won’t give my parents heart attacks, or reasons to look at me funny?” She asked in a tone that bounced between serious and teasing, while it was finally Chloe’s turn to avert her gaze...only to be met with an equally serious look from Boudica, who did the same as her Master.

“And you’ll act like a child should, yes? Because I’ll be sure to keep a close eye on you too.” Her tone was the same, and this little display continued until Mash reached down and hauled Yori back up by her shoulder.

“Give Chloe _some_ credit, Senpai.” Yori nodded in acknowledgement, running her hands through her hair and then over her face to recenter herself.

“ _Fine_. Let’s head in before Cu’s wrists break.”

* * *

An unexpected obstacle was the front door, of all things. Because after knocking twice, trying the door, and ringing the doorbell…there was no answer. Which meant the group was locked out, in the cold, in mild discomfort. Yori peeked around the corner, and spotted a driveway devoid of cars, and sighed.

“Dad’s probably out at the market, getting the last bits for Christmas dinner. But Mom wouldn’t go with him, would she?” Yori wondered aloud, pursing her lips before suddenly getting an idea.

“…But they _did_ always leave a spare key hidden around here in case I got locked out. Now where did they put it…” Yori looked around, with Mash joining in.

“Senpai, look!” Mash pointed upward, where an out of place rock was pushed up against the wall, halfway up the side.

“Ah. Boudica, would you mind giving the wall a little love tap?” At the same time as she spoke, Yori reached up and gently “helped” Nightingale lower her raised pistol so that she wouldn’t shoot and _shatter_ the key.

“Better the wall than the door, eh Master?” Boudica asked as she stepped forward, giving the wall and gentlest of hits that she could manage…which caused the entire house to shake down to the foundations, and caused _something_ to crash to the ground just inside the entrance hall.

But the false rock did fall into Mash’s grip, which then opened to produce the key, and the rest of the house managed to stay upright…somehow.

“Something like that. Think you can repair whatever just broke, Cu?”

Cu, at this point, was crouched slightly, face red as he struggled to carry Florence’s medical bag.

“Once I’m f-free of this…gargantuan bag of _death_ , I can oblige you, girlie!” He sputtered out as he stepped forward, eager to be free of his weight.

“You’re the best, Cu!” Yori said cheerfully as she unlocked the door, and the small group crowded into the entrance hall.

“ _Wow_. This place _is_ bougie! I’m gonna go see how many bedrooms there are!” Chloe, who had been riding on Cu’s bag to make things even worse for him, suddenly hopped off and took off her shoes before running upstairs.

“CHLOE! WHAT DID WE JUST TALK ABOUT!?” Yori did the same, giving chase up the stairs in a blur of white and grey, with Mash not far behind her.

“Ahh, some thing never change, do they?” Boudica spoke through the massive bang that signaled Cu had dropped his bag, panting, and barely standing. Nightingale, meanwhile, had stepped over the coffee table, inspecting it for grime by running a finger along it.

“Hmph. Spotless, with a faint jasmine scent. Yori wasn’t kidding when she said her father was good at cleaning.”

Boudica tilted her head to one side.

“Nightingale…Yori didn’t say that.”

“No, I can simply tell.” Boudica kept a confused look as Nightingale cracked her knuckles and strode over to Cu, who was still doubled over in pain.

“Now then. If this doesn’t work, we’ll have to amputate your lower half, do you understand?” Cu initially nodded, only to pipe up when Nightingale put one hand on his lower back, and one on his stomach.

“Wait, what are you doing you CRAZY DOCTOR BI-AAAAAAAAAAAH!” Before Cu could finish his sentence, Nightingale forcibly righted him, while a horribly snapping sound came from the Caster’s back.

“Ah, no amputation…shame. Then again, you’d probably turn into wood to escape that, wouldn’t you?” Nightingale spoke casually as she dusted her hands off, continuing her inspection as she wandered down the entrance hall.

“You need to work on your bedside manner…”Cu quietly flipped her off from behind and stretched his back until he felt something pop, before taking a closer look at the dimly lit entrance hall. This place…something seemed oddly familiar about it. Like an echo from another time.

Hm. Maybe it was one of his other selves. The older lancer did talk about being in an urban grail war a few times over…but certainly it couldn’t be here? Here that looked oh-so very similar to the city in flames from oh-so long ago…

“Hey, Caster?” Cu finally stopped rubbing his back and looked up at Boudica, who had a picture frame in her hand, a few shards of broken glass pooled on top of the photo inside.

“Ah right. My lovely brand of expertise is needed to clean up.” Cu spoke over the sound of footsteps and shouting just above them, taking the frame in one hand. And just before summoning a rune that would make the glass fly up, and then back into place…Cu paused and looked intensely at the couple in the picture.

And then it hit him.

“Heh.”

“I didn’t think that picture was quite funny. What do you know, Caster?”

Cu Chulainn grinned and cast his spell, just as Yori and Mash descended, with Chloe in tow. For some reason, Chloe was cradling an ancient-looking Calico in her arms.

“I _still_ can’t believe that Mister Bacon Bits survived the incineration of humanity, and a few years after that.”

“I can’t believe you named your cat “Mister Bacon Bits”, Senpai.”

Yori chuckled, rubbing the back of her head with one hand.

“Well, I was about seven years old, and he’d just eaten an entire package of Bacon Bits. So sue me for a lack of creativity.”

“Well, he’s CUTE, and he’s my new best friend as long as we’re here.” Chloe exclaimed, getting an eye roll from Yori and Mash.

“Can we all not crowd around the door? I don’t want my parents thinking they’ve been broken into once they _do_ get home.”

“I think we’ll find out shortly, Rider. Hope you brought some snacks because I think this is gonna be a _show_.” With that, Cu walked out of the entrance hall and into a casual room nearby, reclining on the first couch he could find. Everyone else followed suit, taking mildly more formal postures as they sat around the room, in silence. Listening to the clock tick, and the sounds of the forest nearby.

After about five minutes of dead silence, and Mister Bacon Bits cycling between everyone’s laps before settling in Nightingale’s, Yori finally clapped her hands and took a deep breath in and out.

"I…maybe we should leave. Wait for them to come home, *then* show up.” Mash quickly jumped up and put a hand on Yori’s shoulder, the other reaching around to pull her into a one-armed hug.

…And to possibly stop the Master of Chaldea from running away.

“Yori, _relax_. They’re your parents, and they’ve no doubt missed you all these years.” Yori ran her hands over her face again before clasping one of Mash’s hands and giving it a squeeze.

“You’re right, you’re right. I’m just nervous. Haven’t really had a chance to contact them between, y’know… _everything_.” Yori let off a nervous chuckle to which Mash responded by pulling her into a full-on hug, letting the Master rest her chin on the Shielder’s head. Yori closed her eyes and hugged Mash tightly, breathing deeply.

At least until the sound of an engine came closer and closer, and then shut off. Boudica stood up and separated the pair, giving Yori an affectionate pat on the shoulder.

“Now Master, try to breathe. Like Mash said, you have nothing to be worried about. Now you’re going to go and greet them, yeah?”

Before Yori could respond, Boudica pushed her back into the hallway, crossing her arms and giving that no-nonsense, mega-serious big-sister look she had cultivated so well.

“And if you think of retreating, Master I will… _attempt_ to cure you of your insanity with the ballistic method.” Florence spoke up from her overstuffed chair, wherein the sleeping Mister Bacon Bits had clearly trapped her.

“Please, not in the house, Nightingale? I doubt anyone here can patch up bullet holes.” Yori said with a weak smile as she stepped away from her servants.

* * *

_Footsteps getting closer brought her heartbeat to a pace so quick, Nightingale might have assumed she was having a heart attack. The voice she heard talking out loud, ever so faint, caused her face to go almost as pale as her hair._

“Spicy Mapo Tofu tonight. Not what she asked for, but if she’s still working, it might get her to take a break for once…what am I saying? I know better by now than to try and stop her…”

_A few steps more, she was wringing her hands and biting her lower lip._

_It was fine, right? How many singularities had she repaired? How many gods fell simply because she had a hand in the mix? How many of beasts of unholy origin had been purged, thanks to her?_

_Why was this so terrifying!?_

“…Thought I locked up. Maybe she stepped into the backyard for some air…”

_Yori clasped her hands together behind her back and stood at attention. Put the most neutral face she could on as the door swung open again, and a man stepped through with his arms full of grocery bags._

“What the-”

_A man in impressive shape for his age and his occupation._

“Y… **Yori** _!?_ ”

_A man with stunning orange hair and golden-brown eyes hardened by years of life passing him by._

_The groceries hit the ground as the man stood there, stunned._

“Yeah.” _Yori nodded her head and hoarsely spoke_. _Moments later, that man had his arms wrapped around her, practically bowled over by the impact. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she found the strength to return the hug, just at tight._

_The man that if a certain handful of servants had been present, they’d have been able to name him on sight._

_That man was, of course, Shirou Emiya._

“I missed you too, Dad. I missed you too.” 


End file.
